An Excerpt from Napoleon's Mental Diary

"Mom just doesn't get it. I mean, really. When I wake up, after a hard night of trying to sleep in the same room as my brother - which, by the way, is NOT the same as sleeping in their room with them - I need time and space to wake up.

Doesn't she know that I need to watch one WHOLE tv show before getting ready for school? I mean, it's not like a big deal or anything. One show. It's always been this way. Except that it used to be Tigger and Pooh and now it's Spongebob.

So when she wakes me up a whole 2 minutes after Spongebob has started, the day is simply ruined. I might as well stay home from school because, let's face it, it's shot. There is simply no way I can function when things aren't right.

I knew she wouldn't let me stay home. I tried to tell her my stomach was painfully hurting and all I got was a 'your stomach ALWAYS hurts.' And she rolled her eyes at me. It's like she didn't believe me.

So, then, if I missed 2 minutes of Spongebob because SOMEONE didn't get me up in time, then I was going to watch the next episode to make up for it. Because probably if I got a little more Spongebob in, the day might be recovered.

BUT SHE WOULDN'T LET ME. She actually yelled at me to get dressed. I tried to explain to her that Spongebob was still on but she claimed that it was the new episode (okay, it was, but still) and it was time to get dressed. And then she rambled on about how we do the exact same thing everyday and I should know that 7am meant time to get ready for school.

But we DON'T do the same thing everyday. She woke me up two minutes late today. Doesn't she get that? It's not the same everyday. I mean, really. Uh, people? Don't try to tell me that something's the same when it's not. I'm not dumb you know.

And do you know what else? I think she did it on purpose too. Because I heard her saying something about 'messing with his routine' and 'shaking up his world' and 'teaching him to adapt to new situations.'

Pffft."