Thing One and Thing Two

"What kind of fun could we have today?" said Thing One to Thing Two.

"Our trykes!" said Thing Two to Thing One.

"Should we stay on the sidewalk like good little boys?" said Thing One to Thing Two.

"I do enjoy your witty sense of humor," said Thing Two to Thing One.

My neighbor and I decided the toddlers were too, um, smart to be Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. They are more like the box 'o fun Thing One and Thing Two from the Cat in the Hat (Dr. Suess could rhyme, I didn't even try).

"What, pray tell, could be in the neighbor's yard, just above this wall?"


"This isn't what birdbaths are for?"


A smaller, straight and really nothing like it, version of the Daytona Speedway for trykes. To the puddles, turn around and back to the street.

Thing One cuts off Thing Two to make the sharp, one-eighty turnaround. It's brutal out there, folks.


What does the winner get? First one back to the drainage ditch gets first toss of a pebble into the drains. First runner up throws in a pebble too. Competition is stiff, but really, everyone wins.

I love my neighborhood.

For all you moms out there (or dads) thinking to yourself that you would never allow your toddler to play in the street, I need to share our thought process here. The credit actually goes to my neighbor, who came up with this neat rule.

But before I do, let me at least defend ourselves here. Our neighborhood is teeming with kids that play in the street. From teenagers down to the younger kids and it is almost impossible to keep the toddlers out of the street. The fact of the matter is that teaching your kid a bit of street smart sense isn't a bad idea and we just feel like we're better off going with the tide than fighting it.

Here's the rule: yes, the kids play in the street. Usually there is a parent outside and if not, it's because one or more of the older kids is on temporary street patrol. When a parent yells out "Car!" because one has been spotted, the kids are to get out of the street and onto the curb. And then wave at the oncoming car.

That's the important part. By waving at the car, the driver knows that the kid sees them and is not as likely to go waltzing in front of their vehicle. It reassures older drivers and annoys the heck out of cool teenagers who don't want to wave at kids but feel obliged to do it anyway. It's a win-win situation.

And I'm happy to announce that Thing One and Thing Two are sitting at a B average for following this rule. We still have to march over to them from time to time and get into their faces and yank them onto the curb. But a B average is much better than a fail rate. We'll get to an A average soon, I'm sure of it.