And part of the irony is that I was scrolling through the Blog of Yesteryear and cracking myself up about the neurotic nature of the elder boy.
And how NOT MUCH HAS CHANGED.
Which brings us to today. Ahem.
Today I took Mr. Crazypants to the pediatrician. Why? Well, we need to back up to five days ago.
Five whole days ago, Andrew had a skateboard incident. I didn't see it but apparently there was a rock involved. Damned rocks...always causing troubles. All I know is that I was texted to get home because Andy's wrist was hurting due to said accident and that he NEEDED me.
By the way, that text? Was from Kevin, not the boy child.
So I moseyed on home, not really rushing because...you know, I've met my older boy before. His stomach always hurts, there's always something that feels weird on his body (an elbow perhaps), there's always something.
There's always something that takes us to the psychiatrist, heh heh.
Anyway, I got home to a non-swollen, non-bruised wrist. SHOCKER, right? But I was tired after a dumb meeting I had been to, so I did the whole Mommy-Advil-Magic-Potion Thing and we went to bed.
Four days ago, I heard about the wrist a lot. I administered more Advil, talked about sprains and basically made a lot of shit up hoping that the kid would buy it.
He did not.
Three days ago, there was less complaining but it was brought up enough times that perhaps I got a bit exasperated at one point. Because again...no bruising, no swelling and nothing poking out. See, when Rachel broke her wrist, there was a bone just poking straight out of her wrist that was so awful and ugly...his arm was perfection in comparison.
Two days ago, we brought in a former hockey player with Expertise on Bone Fractures who told him no, it was fine (thanks, Dan for trying). I thought for sure Andy would believe his cool uncle. He did. For about 2 hours.
Yesterday, rinse and repeat. Except that after school, I did think maybe there was a slight swollen spot. But knowing Mr. Crazypants, his brain willed that spot to swell just to prove a point.
So last night I threw my hands in the air and declared that yes, I would take him to the doctor today. He was satisfied. Privately I told Kevin that for the love of all creation, that kid wasn't going to stop until he heard from a Professional. It was worth the copay just to shut the danged kid up.
We traipsed to the pediatrician, who has known me for 21 years (yes, in this new and improved update of the blog, Rachel is now 21) and knows that I'm slightly crazy and that Andy definitely has The Anxiety and The Issues.
Dr: So Andrew what's happening?
A: I hurt my wrist. I fell off the skateboard.
Dr: Ooh, did that happen today?
A: No, Thursday.
Dr: What? Did you take a stagecoach here?
A: No, she wouldn't bring me in here because she doesn't believe me.
Sigh. Kid speaks the truth, yo.
Pediatrician sent us for an xray because OF COURSE he did. In all fairness, only an xray was honestly going to be the definitive proof for Andrew's OCD brain so another $30 well spent.
We traipsed downstairs, filled out forms, wrist was xrayed, and we traipsed back upstairs to the pediatrician's office.
Dr: Okay, I've got bad news and bad news.
We waited with baited breath.
Dr: There is a fracture. It's right here.
Doc began drawing on the paper the bones and where the fracture was. My son jumped down from the examining table and began fist pumping in the air. Doc stopped drawing and looked at him, shook his head and told him to sit down.
A: Take that Mother! I told you, I told you, I told you!
Dr: Yeah mom, great job there. Okay the other bad news is that it's just a slight fracture and it's stable so no cast. Wrap it for about a week and you know, don't hit it on things and don't fall on it.
A: Booyah. I was right!
Again, the pediatrician knows me and my little weirdo, so he understood.
 |
| No you knock it off, Mother. |
So to recap....my kid fractured his wrist 5 days ago and I kept telling him to suck it up and knock it off. In the words of Charlie Sheen, poundsignwinning.
Remember this story, anyone?
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