The Hidden Language of Parents

Thank the heavens above at least one of my children has learned to translate my coded messages. For example:

"Ignore the 5 year olds" translates to "march back into the living room and spew venom until they scream back and someone cries."

What? You didn't get that? Thank the heavens Andrew does.

Perhaps I can market him as the new Rosetta Stone.

Here's another example (just now, as I'm typing):

"Andrew, you and Jackson are to walk out there and tell the 5 year olds that everyone is sharing the 4 bajillion Legos we have or I will have to come out and put you guys in 4 separate rooms."

Translation per Andrew: "You two better stop pelting us with Skylanders or Mom is going to put you guys somewhere else."

See? Saw right through my carefully crafted linguistic disguise.