Ask Mom

"Mom, my eyes are watery."
"That means you're tired."

"Mom, why do people say the sun goes down when everyone knows the sun doesn't move, the earth moves?"
"Because it's easy to say."

"Mom, my elbow hurts."
"That means you're tired."

"Mom, how come you can't sleep with me and Paul every night?"
"Because I don't like getting pummeled every night."

"Why do I have to pour my own chocolate milk?"
"Because you want to feel proud that you can do it."

"Mom, my leg hurts right here."
"It's growing pains. You need to go to sleep."

"Why do I have to go to swimming lessons when I already know how?"
"Can you jump off a diving board without a life jacket?"

"Why did you turn off Spy Kids?"
"You were across the street and I don't want to watch it."

"Mom, there's a scratchy thing in my throat."
"You need to drink more water."

"Mom, do you stay up all night?"
"Yes, I do. Usually I exercise for a good hour and then practice my dance moves to whatever is on MTV360. Sometimes I go to the zoo but that's only if the mayor doesn't call needing help with some criminal out there. And every once in a while, I pull out my hang glider and hook up with the Canadian geese to catch up on the news.

"Mom, are you kidding me?"
"Sometimes."

I always think of Calvin & Hobbes here, when Calvin would ask his dad something like "where does the sun go when it sets?" And the dad would go into an intricate explanation about how it sets in Arizona...