Andyisms

God bless Andy and help calm my frazzled brain in the mornings. That child has been driving me insane with mathematics recently and I just want to drive him over to his teacher's house with a big, red bow on his head.

"If Lucy's birthday is before mine, then how come I'm older?"
"If my birthday is before Grandpa Winterrowd's birthday, then how come he's older?"
"What is 12 plus 4?" (Okay, not so hard)
"What is 16 plus 10?" (urg)
"What's the biggest number?" (Infinity is not something Mr. Sharpie can grasp)
"When I am in 4th grade, what grade will Paul be in?"
"When I am in the 7th grade, what grade will Rachel be in?"

I desperately try not to give the "I don't know" answers and I honestly do try to encourage his own thought process. But you do understand that Mr. Sharpie will hold it against me forever if I absentmindedly agree with him that 12 plus 4 is 15. Forever. 12 plus 4 I can handle, but this:

"So when I am in the 3rd grade, Paul will be in Pre-K, Lucy will be in 2nd grade, Jack will be in 4th grade and Rachel will be in 11th grade. Right? And Jeremy will be in 5th grade, Anna will be in 7th grade, Jackson will be in 2nd grade and Spencer will be in Pre-K. Right, Mom?"

Andrew, it is 7:14 in the morning. You are lucky that I can add 2 NutriGrain bars plus 1 Capri Sun to your lunchbox so that you don't starve today. Knock it off before I scream.