The Senses of Motherhood

The non-sappy version. The sarcastic, yet very true version.

The Color of Mommyhood:
It's that shade of greenish-yellowish that cannot be found in a crayon box or even in the careful examination of a rainbow.  No, it's the color that only a snotty child can produce in their sinuses.

I still swear if someone could learn to use THAT as an energy source, I'd grow ragweed in my backyard and put my kids to work.

Also, if someone ever runs across a dark tee shirt that simply says "Mommyhood" on the front and down toward the bottom has that greenish-yellow smear of snot (not real, of course, just the impersonation of the real thing), please buy it for me.  So simple, yet so truthful.

The Sound of Mommyhood:
There's a resounding debate amongst mothers in this household about which sound is THE sound which accurately represents our status.  In general, the top two contenders are the "Mawwwwwm" whine and the raspy, wheezing that only a small child can make in the wee hours of the morning.  While sleeping, mind you, as you lean over them attempting to determine whether or not they are dying.

But the votes were cast, and "Mawwwwwm" wins this one with a fairly good lead of 63.85% to 36.15% of all voters in this precinct.

The Taste of Mommyhood:
It's simple.  Chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese.  It's my neverending story.

The Smell of Mommyhood:
Some sappier women would write about the smell of a newborn's head or baby powder or some such nonsense.  And I give them kudos, but the reality is that when we moms prove our worth, it's not when the baby's head smells fabulous.

It's when you hear that "mawwwwm" in the middle of the night, followed by the retching noise (that sadly was an independent runner in the Sounds polling and didn't garner enough votes to stay in the running).  The smell that follows?  And follows?  And follows?  As you're cleaning kid up, bed up, blanket or giraffe up?

Yep, thats that's the one.  The one that hides somewhere on your person, even though the Mom has tried to scrub The Stench off.  Yep.

The Touch of Mommyhood:
Dern it, it's sappy.  Sorry.  But it's that first time your baby puts her/his hand on you and says "Mawmma". 

Oh wait, I have a non-sappy one too.  It's when your kid accidently breaks one of your ribs because he's having so much fun playing with you.

Disclaimer:  I realize "color" isn't one of the five senses, but it's my blog and I can do what I want.  Plus, I got a teeshirt years and years ago when I worked a History Quiz Bowl out at Rose State and the shirt was a dirt brown color - and we joked it was the Color of History :-)