Andyisms

"And then the hurricanes come up from the sewers and that's the worst of all."


"No, Andy, there are no sewers in this at all."


I was doing my parental duty and reading him a book. Andy doesn't care for story books; he's all about factual books, like science and stuff. Facts. Suprising, hmm? I tried to read him a story last year, a book that he checked out of his school library about some Native America folk tale regarding the sea, a wise old turtle and the quest to find an answer. Mr. Sharpie couldn't let go of the one page that talked about the "land with 2 suns" because everyone knows there is only one sun and why, why, Mom, would you try to mess with my head this way?


I gave up on stories after that. Actually, if the book is based on tv shows, he does better with fiction, but forget just checking any old book out of the library.


So we were reading about hurricanes this morning.


"But sometimes the hurricanes can come out of the sewers."


"No! There are no sewers involved in this at all. This is the ocean and there aren't any sewers in the ocean. No sewers."


And the kid lets out a sigh as if I'm just daft. Slow, stupid Mom. Because sometimes the facts that he has Sharpied into his brain don't make it into the encyclopedias and the rest of the world can just trust him on this. Like the hurricanes that come out of the sewers.