Andyisms

It's been an Andyism day. Holy smokes, that kid is something else. I do hope that his stubborness benefits him later in life somehow, probably as a trial lawyer or politician. Or the KGB Witness Interrogation Master.

"That's it. I'm not sitting by you ever again."

This was his response to my not-so-nice words to be quiet. He was trying to tell me he wasn't going to bed after Super Why and twice I told him to be quiet or go to his room. The third time involved a bad word (Lent is almost over, right and technically, it is Sunday). Which he did tell me about before he said he wasn't sitting by me ever again on the couch.

Break my heart, why don't you. Threaten me with something terrible, why don't you. Oh no. I just don't think I can bear to go on anymore if Andy doesn't sit by me on the couch ever again. Sob. Sob. Sob.

Thirty seconds later, he's back on the couch. And then next to me.

"I thought you were never going to sit by me again," I commented pleasantly.

"Yeah, well, I have laser beam eyes and I can do what I want."

Can you imagine that argument in a court of law? "Andrew, do you swear to tell the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?" "Yeah, well, I have laser beam eyes and I can do what I want."

Uh wait, Andy's supposed to be the lawyer....oops, that was a slip of the crystal ball.

Here...in case you need another dose of Andyisms for good measure.

His buddy from across the street abrutptly left the house this afternoon and Andy came running at me with the whiny tears. I asked why his friend left and he told me because "Jackson said he 'found' me but I poofed and he can't find me. He's not playing right."

Okay. Should we start this one over? Whaaaat?

"What is 'poofed'?"

"It's when I poof and disappear."

"Okay, so you wanted Jackson to find you."

"Yes."

"And he found you?"

"He said he found me but he can't find me because when I poof I'm gone and he can't see me anymore or find me and he said he did find me and that's not fair." All one sentence and a bit blubbery.

"So you poofed and were gone and then he found you, which is what you wanted him to do, right? What exactly is the problem?"

"He can't find me when I poof."

Urg. This isn't getting any prettier.

"Andy, when you poof and you're gone, what exactly is Jackson supposed to do?"

"Try to find me. But he's not supposed to."

Ah. Believe it or not, it makes sense now. Jackson left our house because he claimed to 'find' Andy after he had poofed, which is impossible since everyone knows that when you poof, you disappear from sight. And since Jackson wouldn't let up on his end about finding Andy and Andy wouldn't give in about being poofed and therefore, unfindable, Jackson had no choice but to leave. Easy as pie.

I attempted at that point to get Andy to see how much fun Jackson would have had running around pretending to not find Andy. And that perhaps Jackson could be the only one who could find him and they could be, like super-buddies.

"No, he picked claws and fire as his powers. Not finding. And besides, there isn't a finding power in X-men."

Case dismissed on grounds of insanity. My insanity.