General Sharpie

Here's a practically verbatim conversation with Andy last night as we watched "The Magic School Bus" episode on hot and cold:

A: Do you turn red when you get cold?

Me: No, red is when it's hot. Like a sunburn is red because of the sun.

A: But you sort of turn red when you get too cold.

Me: No, cold is blue. A bluish color.

A: But when you get, like, really, really cold, it can sort of be a bluish red.

Yes, I know that combination would be purplish, which would probably be a bit accurate too, but that's the kind of filing Mr. Sharpie doesn't do in his head. In other words, I don't want to go there because it's 10:15pm and that would require a new folder, a new label, cross-referencing and quite frankly, I'm tired.

Me: No, not red at all. When you get too cold, you turn a bluish color.

A: But sometimes, a bit red.

Me: No, blue.

At this point in the short conversation/argument, Andy lets out an exasperated groan because, as usual, he just knows he's right and absolutely cannot stand it when he's actually wrong. General Sharpie will be at the pearly gates arguing with St. Peter that if "hello" isn't a bad word, then "what the hell" shouldn't be used against him in the final court of judgment and by the way, he wants to see St. Peter's supervisor. Pronto. And can he bring some chocolate milk back with him?

And somewhere, probably in limbo twiddling his thumbs, the real Napoleon Bonaparte will give him a thumbs up.